Insanity

Once again I’m trapped. In my own psychotic mind. My mind is my hell hole. Surrounded by my own white walls I’ve created. I’ve become my own patient to my own asylum. Ive created my own insanity.

SOME SAY BEING “ALONE” IS A STATE OF MIND, I BEG TO DIFFER

I tend to be alone a lot in my life. Either physically or emotionally. When I moved here, I was 6. I was the little girl who wanted to be friends with anyone and everyone. But I never truly had a best friend. Growing up while my “friends” all had their first kiss, I hadn't even held a boys hand. They all thought I was weird. While they all wanted to grow up fast I was taking my time. At such a young age friends already turned their backs against me, driving me out, leaving me alone.

Guys did the same thing, “I love you” seriously your 13 you don’t love me, you like me.

Then of course the guy leaves the girl. You got it folks, what happens to you again? Your left by yourself alone. Yeah, you have “friends” who will talk with you to cheer you up, but “friends” can’t change the feeling of emptiness. For me the feeling of “emptiness” is like your body is numb. You know somethings hurting you, you just can’t feel it. Over time my body has become as I would say “permanently numb”. I’ve been cheated on so many times I can’t keep track anymore, jerk off guys who believe stupid rumors, guys who just want to get with you on the second date or the most painful when you’ve lost someone you honestly could say you loved.

Being alone for me seems normal, I know in reality it’s not, however for me that’s just where I end up. I’ve become accustomed to being alone. I run from my emotions, I don’t want to get hurt anymore, even though my body’s numb in the end I will still feel it or have a scar to taunt me I may not feel it, but it was there.

SMASHUP

His eyes his eyes made the stars look like they’re not shining

His hands his hands touched me perfectly without him trying

“Your amazing” that’s what I told him everyday

I knew I knew when said I love you he didn’t believe me

It’s so it’s so sad to know he never ever liked me

It was amazing just being with him

I never ever ever ever thought this would end

I told you that I loved you but in the end you said no

No No No No

Lady A.

Hello world,

How've you been?

Good to see you my ol' friend.

American Honey

There's a wild, wild whisper
Blowing in the wind
Calling out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothing's sweeter than summer time
And American honey

When He's The One I'll Come Undone And My World Will Stop Spinning

cuz' i know your out there and your, your looking for me,

its a crazy idea that you were made perfectly for me you'll see,

just like the movies, that how it will be ,

cinematic and dramatic with the perfect ending-katy perry♥

Roses Are Reds, Violet Are Blue

February 14, 2011.

It's the day of love,

A day for that special someone.

But today was

THE BEST VALENTINES DAY BEING SINGLE!!!

Getting Love Handcuffs,

Heart Shaped chocolate to share with friends.

Being called a "Sexy Valentine"

Having an amazing time with people I love.

Who cares if your single on Valentine's Day?!

I had the best day

Music Is The Only Thing That Lasts

While everything else has faded music is only what remains.

Were happy, we listen to music.

Were sad, we listen to music.

Were angry, we listen to music.

It's funny how we all can relate to something

dealing with music.

Toes

Got my ass in the water toes in the sand not a worry

In the World a cold beer in my hand

Life is good today,

Life is good today

Blue Skies Are Callin'

You can't hold people accountable for their decisions.

Yeah I mean you get upset about it,

But things get better from there on.

You don't think so but

You move on fast.

I Appreciate This So Much

There are times when people float in and out of our lives that we know are special.

You are one of those people.

The Runaways

Hello Daddy Hello Mom

I'm ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch

Cherry Bomb

Hello World I'm you

Wild Girl

Noah And The Whale

"Well my heart is bigger than earth

And though life is what gave it love first

Life it not all that it's worth

'Cause this life is fleeting"

Stones Taught Me To Fly, Love Taught Me To Lie, Life Taught Me To Die

Why did it go down like this? There could have been another way

This could have all been different.

But, I can't change the way you think,

I tried to open your eyes to what was really real,

But in the end you kept with it.

And thats it I guess, I'll just get over you.

I wont be coming over anymore, I wont see your family anymore,

I wont walk down your road to the pond anytime soon,

But if I do and you see me,

I won't be thinking of you.

I put my walls down for you,

And in the end I got hurt again.

You were never not good enough for me.

But you made your mind up,

And I can't change that.

So I'm sorry you did

Something really stupid,

In the end it's really

Your loss.

I Mean Yeah Of Course

It was so cereal. Totally felt like I was punched in the face.

And in the end your lonely, and sad.

All the times spent together doesn't mean a thing now.

It's not like I don't want to talk to you.

It's just I can't.

I can't take a step back, when I'm taking a step forward.

"Theres really no such thing as what might have been. there's what happened and what will happen. You just have to realize that what might have been is imaginary, and it's this beautiful illusion of how it could have been if you had just don't this right or if he just liked you or if things had just lined up. But things don't line up"-Taylor Swift

Where I Always End Up

All along all along,

I guess I'm meant to be alone.

Out here on my own.

-Kid Cudi

I Opened My Eyes, And Looked Into Yours And Saw Fate

I guess I didn't see the things you saw.

But in the end,

Now I see.

The County Fair

Love is like going on a ride at a fair. You both get on the ride. Your all fine.

During the ride there's ups and downs, laughter and cries.

But eventually the ride is over, and you both must get off.

You both must separate whether its

by choice or,

by death.

It's So Empty Living Behind These Castle Walls

I should tumble if I should fall would anyone hear me screaming behind these castle walls? theres no one here at all, behind these castle walls*

To Be Completely Honest...

You have some kind of hold on me. I don't know what it is. It kind of intrigues me. How I can't tell what your thinking, yet you know everything that's happening in my mind I look up and you look down into my eyes. It's intriguing how much we have in common. I thought I'd never love someone again, but, I can say that I do love someone. I maybe so confident to say it people. but I get goosebumps every time I say it nonetheless think it. I don't know how to describe the feeling, it's not all warm and fuzzy" it's something much more than that.