Insanity

Once again I’m trapped. In my own psychotic mind. My mind is my hell hole. Surrounded by my own white walls I’ve created. I’ve become my own patient to my own asylum. Ive created my own insanity.

SOME SAY BEING “ALONE” IS A STATE OF MIND, I BEG TO DIFFER

I tend to be alone a lot in my life. Either physically or emotionally. When I moved here, I was 6. I was the little girl who wanted to be friends with anyone and everyone. But I never truly had a best friend. Growing up while my “friends” all had their first kiss, I hadn't even held a boys hand. They all thought I was weird. While they all wanted to grow up fast I was taking my time. At such a young age friends already turned their backs against me, driving me out, leaving me alone.

Guys did the same thing, “I love you” seriously your 13 you don’t love me, you like me.

Then of course the guy leaves the girl. You got it folks, what happens to you again? Your left by yourself alone. Yeah, you have “friends” who will talk with you to cheer you up, but “friends” can’t change the feeling of emptiness. For me the feeling of “emptiness” is like your body is numb. You know somethings hurting you, you just can’t feel it. Over time my body has become as I would say “permanently numb”. I’ve been cheated on so many times I can’t keep track anymore, jerk off guys who believe stupid rumors, guys who just want to get with you on the second date or the most painful when you’ve lost someone you honestly could say you loved.

Being alone for me seems normal, I know in reality it’s not, however for me that’s just where I end up. I’ve become accustomed to being alone. I run from my emotions, I don’t want to get hurt anymore, even though my body’s numb in the end I will still feel it or have a scar to taunt me I may not feel it, but it was there.

SMASHUP

His eyes his eyes made the stars look like they’re not shining

His hands his hands touched me perfectly without him trying

“Your amazing” that’s what I told him everyday

I knew I knew when said I love you he didn’t believe me

It’s so it’s so sad to know he never ever liked me

It was amazing just being with him

I never ever ever ever thought this would end

I told you that I loved you but in the end you said no

No No No No

Lady A.

Hello world,

How've you been?

Good to see you my ol' friend.

American Honey

There's a wild, wild whisper
Blowing in the wind
Calling out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothing's sweeter than summer time
And American honey

When He's The One I'll Come Undone And My World Will Stop Spinning

cuz' i know your out there and your, your looking for me,

its a crazy idea that you were made perfectly for me you'll see,

just like the movies, that how it will be ,

cinematic and dramatic with the perfect ending-katy perry♥

Roses Are Reds, Violet Are Blue

February 14, 2011.

It's the day of love,

A day for that special someone.

But today was

THE BEST VALENTINES DAY BEING SINGLE!!!

Getting Love Handcuffs,

Heart Shaped chocolate to share with friends.

Being called a "Sexy Valentine"

Having an amazing time with people I love.

Who cares if your single on Valentine's Day?!

I had the best day